The worst day of my life to date happened two years ago today. Two years ago I was in a car riding through Atlanta to get to Emory university where my dad was hospitalized. We had got the call earlier that they (the doctors) were preparing to move him to hospice later that day since he was not getting better. My father had been at the time battling multiple myeloma cancer for two and a half years. He had everything under the sun to try and stop the cancer, but nothing worked. He had all the traditional treatments: radiation, chemo, stem cell transplant. Before he passed my mom and the doctors were looking towards the experimental route, but he got worse before they could even try. When we got to Emory I remember sitting in this big open area with couches and chairs. There was this stupid old T.V mounted on the wall, and I mean old it was still a block T.V with dials. There was a widow across from me where I could look out at the surrounding area, but when I looked out the window I saw nothing because I wasn’t present I was elsewhere inside my own head. I remember friends and family walking in and sitting down. I remember people hugging me, lots of crying and a lot of “I’m sorry, He was a great man”. My father stayed with us until everyone that mattered was present. We were all in his room holding hands surrounding his bed in prayer when the alarms started to sound. He had flatlined and passed on. That was it, in a millisecond my dad was here and gone. I remember the way he looked laying there in that hospital bed. His skin was yellow, he had these big mittens on to keep him from pulling on his IVs and his cords, he did not have any hair, his mouth was agape, and he never opened his eyes the entire time we were there. #prayersforblake#cancerkills#fuckcancer#ripdaddy
Out celebrating the great news my mother got today from the doctor. She’s responding to the immunotherapy and as the doctor said “ seeing 2019 is not unreasonable.” Yay! Such a fighter mom. Love you #fuckcancer#mom#family#rockstar
Making some glass with matt @paulson88 . I always loved how this guy could make me laugh, think, and constantly amuse his friends. Wish I could share my new studio with you. You are always and forever in my thoughts. #cherishedmoments#fuckcancer#gonetoosoon
One year ago today I underwent a bilateral masectomy. One year cancer free. Since then I've had 3 infections, 5 surgeries, stayed 2 1/2 weeks in the hospital, had a blood clot, underwent radiation therapy, finished chemotherapy, and nearly lost my mind lol. I've kept my journey pretty private for the most part except for milestones but these pictures don't do justice of the physical pain and emotional trauma I've endured the past year. I tried to put on this facade for everyone to keep my pain invisible to everybody. I barely took pictures of myself, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror, my automated response to everything was "I'm fine". My body wasn't my body anymore. This wasn't the body I had grown to know and appreciate. My skin color was off, my weight fluctuated like crazy, I gained an absurd amount of scars/stretch marks, lost most of my muscle, and lost my breasts. I didn't feel feminine in any sense and felt like my identity was gone. I spent a lot of time looking at other women envying their shape, their cleavage, they hair, their eyebrows, etc. 2017 nearly killed me but I'm still here so y'all will have to deal with me. These are some of the few pictures I've taken the last year of some of my experiences.
1) Just days before my masectomy taken by @hobbritt in my room. A masectomy is when they remove all breast tissue and attach these little balloon dudes called expanders onto my breast tissue. They slowly fill them with saline to stretch out my skin and prepare it for radiation therapy/reconstruction.
2) My first post op appointment after my masectomy. During my surgery, they inserted those plastic tubes/bulbs in me which are called drains. They collect the excess blood/fluid to prevent infection. I had to have these in for nearly a month. So I had 4 tubes poking out of my side's to somehow tie up under my clothes for a few weeks.
3) A few days before my surgery, they had discovered a blood clot. For six months, I had to give myself a shot twice a day in my stomach. While on these blood thinners, I couldn't even trip and fall without an immediate visit to the hospital.
4) Three weeks after my masectomy my right expander
Jeg har aldrig været bange for at forsvinde eller fare vild i naturen, og jeg har heller aldrig været bange for at indrømme, jeg kan faktisk godt lide at forsvinde i den....Naturen er nemlig for mig en lille del af den her verden, som er min helt egen.
Mennesker bruger utroligt mange år på at finde ud af hvem de er , for først for sent at indse, at vi er nødt til at skabe den person vi ønsker at være, igennem vores egne individuelle erfaringer.
Husk på at din tid er begrænset, så spild det ikke på at leve andres liv, og lad dig ikke fange af det dogme som det er at leve med resultaterne af andres tænkning.. Det er så bare så vigtigt at du ikke lader lyden af andres meninger udtørre din egen, og vigtigst af alt, at du har modet til at følge dit eget hjerte og intuition... For mig, der starter det hele i naturen med en lomme fuld af patroner, en riffel over min arm, og en hund ved min side. Alt sammen mens vi fanger det sidste stænk af lys som er tilbage i horisonten..Og hvorfor?? Fordi for det er sådan folk som os overlever 👌💪👊.
Vi er Krigere... ❤
👨👩👧 Thanks to a sensible court decision, an 11-year-old in #Illinois will not have to choose between her health and her education.
This decision has potentially set an important precedent when it comes to pediatric medical marijuana patients. State regulations prohibit medical cannabis use in scho. But this may be an indication that times are changing. Laws are catching up to science. 🏛
This students treatment, which included a transdermal patch and topical oil (WITHOUT enough THC to cause psychoactive effects) are used to control her seizures. 🙏
Ashley was diagnosed with leukemia when she was 2. But she has been in remission for 7 years now. Unfortunately she is now coping with complications. The #chemotherapy drug #methotrexate, caused neurological damage, which in turn led to debilitating seizures occurring on a daily basis.
She has had only one seizure since beginning treatment with #cannabis. Her parents, who fought for this decision, have even described the medicine as a “golden cure.” 🚑 💛
Link to full story in our IG Stories and at HighTimes.com
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I miss him every single day 💕 Do you have any furbabies in doggy-heaven? 🌈❣ #livelikeflex
My mom Karen teaches me Zumba dancing. — (Mom loves making videos with me. Thanks for all the support.)
Axle lost his battle with cancer tonight. Even though he had cancer, this was still very abrupt. It’s been a very painful night but thought reposting some of my favorite pictures would help me. I also wanted to thank all of my friends that have helped and supported me along the way with multiple sick animals. I don’t know how I would’ve managed without y’alls help ♥️
8 months fighting against cancer. This black seal teaches me a lot every day. He never complains, he always smiles, shows love, care and compassion. When something bad happens in my life and is a reason to make me frustrated or unmotivated, I just look at this smile and all my strength comes back. So I hope this smile has the same effect on all of you and helps you start this week with positive energy! Happy Monday 💜